Thursday, April 22, 2010

Screw Saving The Earth - Save The Bacon

The next Obamacare target: Your bacon sandwich
When your breakfast plate doesn't pack the same wallop that it used to and your pappardelle con prosciutto goes from larapin to blase, remember why. It's because you can't be trusted to use high-sodium food responsibly.

Do-gooder groups are thrilled because after decades of failing to scare people off salt, the government will simply turn it into a controlled substance. They claim that thousands of lives will be saved from decreased incidence of high blood pressure and hail the move as a blow against Big Food.

More likely, Big Food will be able to use the regulations they help design to dominate the market even more. They are already spending millions to find new chemical compounds that keep the foods yummy but skirt the new sodium prohibition.

The local potato chip maker whose greasy treats taste divine will find that they can't afford Frito Lay's Space Age salt substitute. Mom and Pop will have to sell chips that taste like a fried dishrag and eventually close.

But they will be casualties in a larger war that doesn't have as much to do with salt or wellness or even obesity.

The regulatory battleground of the decades to come is going to be your body. How much sugar, salt, fat and everything else you put in your body will be a matter of great federal interest.

Barring the success of lawsuits or huge gains by Republicans this fall, the president's health program will be imposed in pieces over the next four years. By the end, the government will have a fiduciary interest in the waistlines and cholesterol counts of every American.

As the most unaffordable aspects of the Obama plan come on line, expect more dietary restrictions as the government looks for ways to control the enormous costs related to unhealthy habits.

For decades, insurance companies have tried to get their customers to quit drinking and smoking and to slim down and exercise.

But imagine what they could have done if they had the power to simply outlaw behavior that drove up costs.

Taking away your bacon will be deemed a small price for helping cover the Obamacare deficit.

Man the barricades! Better to repeal Obamacare than give up salt or worse bacon. I don't even eat bacon all that much but I am a cook. I've been cooking since I was five years old, I've worked in restaurants, I wrote restaurant reviews for my college paper, and I have so many cookbooks, I have a bookcase in my kitchen and I will be DAMNED if some freakin', effing Liberal Food Nazi (LFN) is taking any cooking ingredient away from me.

Next thing you know some LFN will realize apple seeds contain arsenic and try to ban apples as well.

So when you are stockpiling your home for disasters and defense (ala Instapundit) don't forget to pack lots of salt and bacon because it may well end up being a distopian currency.

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