While I do deeply believe in positive re-enforcement, shame is also good.
Megan Mcardle agrees with me in this post here.
Let's face it, all carrot, no stick is pretty pointless and only seems to create a grossly inflated sense of entitlement. No carrot, all stick would be awful as well. But that's not the point of embracing shame.
A well-balanced mix of shame and praise helps people remain positively socially connected. Being free to act without shame leads to sociopathic behavior. Believing you deserve a constant diet of praise creates narcessistic tendencies.
But a clear understanding of where the praise stops and shame slowly builds keeps all of us from straying out of bounds. That is why Shame is good.
(513): Masturbated while waiting...
47 minutes ago