Crackberry President

Well, he did mention his pot and cocaine use in his autobiographies. And, of course, he is a smoker.

So it makes sense that he'd indulge his addiction-prone impulses by refusing to give up his blackberry until "Obama's Blackberry tumbled from his belt as he got out of his limousine and onto his plane in Washington. A Secret Service agent hurried to pick up the pieces, gathering the Blackberry and battery off the frigid tarmac."

Blackberry problem solved, right?

Wrong.

He's switching to a smartphone so he can "stay out of the White House fishbowl".

Whatever.

And when assassins use the phone to target Obama's whereabouts because he was too addicted to text messaging to give up the damn thing, then what? Who will be blamed?

Probably conservatives. But as a husband and father, you'd think Obama would care just a little bit more about his personal safety.